Everything

Up here in Sacramento, some of the elementary schools are year round. The kids have been in school for eight days and so far, so good.

You really can’t go wrong when you don’t have to worry about Daddy leaving.

I have to say I feel a bit spoiled. Very surreal for the past month. I can sleep in on school days! Imagine that! We can take turns getting the kids ready for school.

I have help. I have a spouse. I have a partner.

Most importantly, I don’t have to do it all.

I was definitely in denial at first. Even after two weeks of R being home, I still felt like I had to do everything. Never ending laundry piles. Dishes galore. Parenting! Oh, the parenting!

My husband had left the Navy a month ago and the tasks he’s completed since then is nuts. Effing nuts!

Got caught up with bills (some military spouses feel me, right?). Found a job. Re-fucking-financed the goddamned house to save 2% interest, translating to a savings of ALMOST $700 a month! What the heck?!

A part of me felt embarrassed about how much he’s been able to do. Why couldn’t I do any of that? I’ve been here for five goddamned years!

But not once has R made me feel that way. Not once.

I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to have our family complete again. When R was gone, the kids were amazing. They could teach workshops in resiliency, seriously with all the crap they’ve had to go through.

Today after school I asked the kids what was their favorite part of having Daddy home. Our oldest son M said it best: “Well, he’s never been here so… Everything.”

First day of school. L, 6 years old, 1st grade.

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A, 8 years old, 3rd grade.

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M, 11 years old, 6th grade. I said, “Come on, let’s take a picture together!” He said, “I don’t feel very comfortable right now!”

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