I’ll Stand By You

I had never seen this logo until two years ago.

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And now I can’t stop looking at it.

There are days when I feel so emotional, so ragged that any tiniest thing sends me deeper into a rabbit’s hole. I think it might be the combination of many things. I have been popping Benedryl like candy for the last two weeks. Allergies are making me miserable. Dehydration could be a factor. A seemingly beautiful day feels like a hundred degrees when you’re running around and helping clean up after a church picnic. Sometimes a year to R’s retirement seems like it will be here sooner than I know; today it feels like it is lifetimes away.

I ran across this video on YouTube tonight.

I still keep in contact with a couple of milspouses I met while our husbands were recovering at the VA in Palo Alto. They are running marathons, speaking at conferences, and everything else you can think of, all while caring for their Wounded Warriors.

Right now I feel like I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders and I don’t understand why. I am doing none of those things above and I certainly cannot care for my husband three time zones away.

Right now I can barely care for myself.

While the kids were on the trampoline,

I tried to get some pics of the eclipse tonight. I couldn’t get a picture of the eclipse but the shots I took were interesting, like some sort of code.

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I’ll let you know when I understand.

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2 thoughts on “I’ll Stand By You

  1. While my husband has only just begun his Navy career, and has yet to deploy, I honor you & your husband for the courage it must take sometimes to just get through the day. I couldn’t even push ‘play’ for the ‘I’ll Stand by You’ video because I know I’m far too emotional to handle it tonight πŸ™‚ Here’s to stronger days ahead!

    • Thank you Ashley! I so needed to read your comment tonight! This blog, although difficult for me to articulate what I’m feeling on days like this (!), has helped me tremendously. Sometimes there are words to describe what I am feeling, sometimes there aren’t and wallowing for me is okay (provided I don’t eat too much chocolate, lol). I actually read your comment, felt a little better, started Thor on the DVR, and kept on writing. Even if I can’t tell my husband in person how I’m feeling, the clickety clack of a keyboard can sometimes be equally soothing. Thanks again! πŸ™‚ Alma

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