If you are looking for gay jokes, get the fuck off of this site. This post, this site, this blogger is not for you.
My son M is in fourth grade and I don’t have to tell you how cruel, how unkind, how mean kids can be at this age.
Last year when my husband was home, M told him about a game that some kids were playing that he didn’t want to play. The Cheese Touch game from Diary of a Wimpy Kid stems from a scene in the book where the kid who touched an old piece of cheese on the play ground was tainted. He had the cooties.
Ooh. Big deal.
Only my son told my husband those kids weren’t playing Cheese Touch. They were playing Faggot Touch.
Yes, pick up your jaw off the ground. I had to also when I heard this from my husband.
Both my husband and I have many gay and lesbian friends; in fact, his favorite uncle, now deceased, was gay.
My husband told him what that word meant, the hatred in the word, and to avoid the game. M understood but I think, in retrospect, his friends started to drift apart into smaller cliques at that time.
Tonight after his sisters fell asleep, M came to me, held out his hand palm down, and asked me if that made him gay.
Once again I was floored.
“This boy said if you look at your nails like that, that means you are gay.”
Whoa. All I was doing was getting hungry while looking at food pics on Pinterest. I didn’t have to take a deep breath because I was afraid of what I was going to say. I had to take a deep breath because the word GAY in his sphere of friends has taken on a powerfully negative connotation and it seems like there is no stopping it.
It has to stop. But how?
“Look,” I said. “How you look at your nails does not determine if you are gay or not. The only thing that makes a person gay is if he is a boy and likes other boys or if she is a girl and likes other girls.”
He said, “But what if the boy likes another boy as a friend?”
“That doesn’t make you gay. That makes you friends.”
I went on to remind him that he’s met many of my gay friends but he just didn’t know who was gay and who wasn’t BECAUSE IT DIDN’T MATTER.
IT DOESN’T MATTER.
I don’t make friends based on whether they are straight or gay, their religion (my religious humor is questionable), funny or boring, rich or poor.
Though I am always taking applications for funny, rich, and generous friends.
The only people I discriminate against are assholes. Yup, I hate assholes.
But I digress.
This will not be the last time he encounters this. I will bring this up with his teacher but as an educator myself, I have no idea how I would even address this in school. Have you or your kids heard something troubling? What advice did you give? Did you do anything about it? If so, what?
Any and all advice is greatly appreciated. All hateful remarks will be deleted.