Lent, Day 1

Whenever I sit down to work on my novels that may never see the light of day, I sometimes find myself stuck.

Writer’s block. Wondering what a particular character might say. Attempting to create a scene that doesn’t want to be created.

Until recently, I thought those moments were sent to challenge me, to test my confidence, to push me into thinking differently.

Now I know that these moments may mean a number of things. The scene just doesn’t work. Maybe I cannot picture the character saying that because he shouldn’t. Press the rewind button and start where it did work.

Just stop thinking. Start doing.

Such was my dilemma this morning when I wanted to go to Starbucks for an hour between dropping off the kids at school and going to work. I should give up Starbucks for Lent. My visits have been pared down significantly since I discovered the wonderful world of white chocolate mocha creamer in a vanilla hazelnut blend. Sweet but not overwhelming.

Then I thought, but having a hour, any hour, alone would be so nice, reading the vampire novel I found for under a buck at Goodwill the other day while sipping a soy white mocha, no whipped.

But that was it.

No more.

I realized that if I was under that much turmoil over something so trivial then yes, it is probably an attachment I don’t need for the next forty days.

I have never fasted before and while I hesitate to because of the long, excrucuating migraine from last week, it will be an exercise in self-control and discipline, both of which I could use more of indefinitely. Don’t worry, any more headaches will be promptly reported to my general practitioner and if I truly feel ill or faint, I will have something to eat. Definitely.

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