What chocolate can’t fix

I WISH I could be dependent.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again but Yoda style this time.

Dependent I WISH I could be.

This has not been a grand ol’ time for my family the past few weeks. This has been a crappy day for me.

The kids have been taking turns getting sick. The youngest L had the sniffles and was pretty cranky, highly unusual for this one. Now I hate flaking on sub jobs that I have already accepted and yes, it is possible to cancel a sub job but I hate doing that.

Also I spent quite some time cleaning and partially decluttering the house which many of you know that it gets way worse before it gets better.

Then the boy (during our party that I was cleaning for) splits his lip while jumping on the trampoline! He wasn’t even doing any tricks at the time, didn’t run into anyone else. Just miscalculated his flexibility and power, both of which he has proven he’s got oodles. He had to get stitches!


Then the middle A came home with a fever of 102 degrees yesterday so I kept her home from school to make sure she wasn’t contagious. As if first grade classrooms weren’t germy enough, right?

I spent the entire morning asleep on the couch while the girls happily entertained themselves next to me on the couch with books and the remote control.

And so I type this now in the darkness of our bedroom, in the cool late-October weather, having calmed myself down from a good cry, realizing that not even chocolate could fix this feeling, wondering about everything and nothing, all at the same time.

How I’d love nothing more than to know what day R will fly out here for Thanksgiving leave just so we know and can start a countdown.

How much I wonder about how life will be when we can finally live under the same roof. How I don’t even remotely care about how much time we’ll need to adjust to living together again because at least we get to have the chance.

Now before you ask me when I moved to Rantopolis, I would like to reiterate that I do not have any regrets, I understand the life I chose for myself and ultimately for our family, and I am grateful to be where I am at this very moment.

But I am exhausted and I’m feeling it tonight.

Here are our wedding songs. Couldn’t figure out how to embed it into my depressing post. They keep playing over and over on my iPad and strangely enough, maybe I need to hear them that many times. Good night!

What he thinks our wedding song is:

What I think our wedding song is:

No matter. I love both of them. Hope you do too! What is you and your significant other’s song?

One thought on “What chocolate can’t fix

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